What does it mean to be charismatic? For most of my life, I’ve envisioned the person who can carry on witty banter, can bring life to a boring party, and never second guess the words that are coming out of their mouth. Also known as, “not me.”
I’ve learned over the two years that those are not the ingredients of Charisma, that’s just an extrovert. Can one be an uncharismatic extrovert? Hell yes. I’ve had my fair share of eye-roll inducing extroverts, and I’m sure you have, as well. If this were four years ago, I would have said that extroverts just speak to hear their own voices! But, unfortunately, I’ve fallen into that trap: to be heard is to visible.
As an aside, I’ve said things in meeting to be “visible” where after I opened my mouth, I felt that my contributions provided zero additional insight and I’m embarrassed to admit that. 😂 But all in all, I try to ensure my contributions challenge people to think differently about something, or reinforce their assertions. But I digress…
If there are uncharismatic extroverts, are there charismatic introverts?
When I refer back to the article I originally shared, the other facet of charisma is being in the moment. Introverts are uniquely suited to do this and we need to start using it to our advantage. It’s easy to multitask during a meeting, but it’s obvious when someone is giving you their undivided attention for your 30 minute/hour meeting and who’s not. Making others feel important is a part of being charismatic.
As I re-read this post and synthesize the meaning, it’s clear: I can turn on the charisma! I need to stop conflating extroversion and charisma, because they are mutually exclusive.
My attempts to energize my peers to understand the marketing magic they’re building? That’s charisma.
By dedicating my mind space during a meeting to only focus on the needs/wants for the meeting. That’s also charisma.
Finding a small, but important connection with the person I’m working with…charisma.
I think I’ve got it? Just don’t try to small talk with me.